


A Drop in the Ocean

by FluffandMonsters



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bittersweet, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Parallel Universes, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25294360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffandMonsters/pseuds/FluffandMonsters
Summary: What might happen if Rose fell through a time vortex, and was suddenly dropped in the TARDIS with Eleven, leaving her Doctor back in the parallel world?
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Rose Tyler, Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 12
Kudos: 72





	1. A Drop in the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for the next chapter! I've just started out writing fics so any and all feedback is appreciated <3  
> Hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it <3  
> _____________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> A drop in the ocean  
> A change in the weather  
> I was praying that you and me might end up together- but it's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
> And I'm holding you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven.
> 
> Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore, no heaven doesn't seem far away...

“What the-” Rose stammered as she lifted her head from where she’d fallen, and found herself looking around the console room of the TARDIS. But it wasn’t her TARDIS. It was all new and shiny, and there was a strange man with a bow tie staring at her, open-mouthed, from the control panel. She gasped.

  
“Doctor?”  
He stared back at her, took a step towards her, then stopped and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. He scanned her from a distance, refusing to come near her or look her in the eye. He dashed to his monitor and tapped away at the screen. His eyes widened as the readings came through.

Name: Rose Marion Tyler  
Species: Human  
Origin: Earth (Version 7190016B#4)  
Most Recent Plant: Oxid9.3  
Age: 32

He glanced over at her, warily. She was dusting herself off, looking around the TARDIS. She saw him watching her and let her hands drop to her sides, studying his face anxiously. Suddenly he didn’t know what to do with his hands. A frown crept over his forehead and he had to look away. 

“Hello, Rose Tyler.” He said quietly to his shoes. "I'll ask you how the hell you got onto my spaceship in a minute, but first things first, are you okay?" He sprang towards her and pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

“Doctor.” She breathed, a slight quiver in her voice. “What happened to you?"

“Hm?" He stopped, instantly disarmed and lowered his screwdriver. "Oh, the face! It was nothing. Just saving a friend."

She nodded and walked towards him, too.

“Did it hurt?”

“Bit of a twinge. But I will not be distracted, Rose Tyler.” He closed the distance between them scanned her thoroughly with the sonic.

“Hm. Little time lagged. Amazing you survived. but I shouldn’t be that surprised. You’re made of sterner stuff than most. You may feel sick soon - you should sit down- but okay, now's the time to ask, how did you get on board? What were you doing, just before you landed here?”

“I was examining some ship that had crashed on Oxid9.3, close to home, a little planet near the Perseids. There was this vortex. We’d kept away but-”

“We?”

“Me and, um.. my Doctor.”

The Doctor looked at his shoes.

“Of course, of course. Yes. Carry on.”

“Right. He uhh.”

But she’d lost her train of thought. The way he was nodding, frowning, touching his temple with his hands, it looked like he wanted to shield his face from her. Her voice trembled a little as she carried on, he needed to know what happened.

“He said it looked really dangerous, we were just about to make it back to the TARDIS to get some equipment – umm, our TARDIS- then there was this earthquake, the ground shook. The world went sideways. I fell through the vortex and landed here.”

The Doctor shuddered with the memory of seeing her falling into the void, screaming his name. Pete snatching her at the last minute. She could have died, and it was all his fault…

“Doctor, please help me find him.”

He clenched his jaw and nodded.

“Is there any way you can get a message to him? Tell him I’m going to be okay, that I’m on my way back? Don’t Time Lords share telepathy?”

He shook his head out of the brain fog he hadn’t realised he’d wandered into. He didn’t have time for this guilt wormhole now. Not while Rose was in danger.

“I… Maybe!” He jumped down into the underbelly of the TARDIS and came back with a device which looked to her like a kind of helmet with pulleys, made to suspend from the air. The Doctor crammed the helmet onto his head and strapped the harness around his chest. He grimaced and stifled a shout as the helmet rippled a strong electric shock through his body as he activated it with his screwdriver.

“What’s that? What’re you doing?” Rose yelled, alarmed.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner!” The Doctor yelled back, grinning.

Suddenly, the contraption began to buzz and The Doctor’s body jerked and shook as the noise got louder and louder.

“Just a few adjustments to make, shouldn’t be a problem! What do you want to say to him?” He shouted above the noise.

“What, I don’t- Are you talking to him?”

“I can do a quick message. Emphasis on quick! What. Do. You. Want. To- Agh!!”

“Doctor!” Rose ran to him, clutching at him as he fell to the ground.

“ROSE-” He barked through gritted teeth.

“Tell him, tell him I’m okay. That I’m with you in the TARDIS and I’m coming home. Ask him where he is, and tell him to go home, if he can, tell him to wait and I’ll be with him any minute now. That I love him. That- that’s it. Okay? Please, stop! Get that thing off your head!”

The Doctor clenched his jaw and crammed his eyes shut, as tremors shuddered through his body. Rose shoved a pencil between his teeth, terrified he would bite his tongue, and held him as he gasped for breath. The TARDIS began to whirr, and they were in flight. Rose leapt up instinctively.

“What do I do?”

“Pull that silver lever there! Then that yellow button! Agh, no, the other one!”

They managed to land safely, and The Doctor’s helmet unclasped with a small sound like a hydraulic.

“Where are we?” She asked.

“No idea. I got the message. To your Doctor. He was very relieved to hear that you’re here. He fell through the vortex too, but it took him home…” The Eleventh Doctor turned his back on Rose and packed away his contraption, his body movements slow and heavy. He looked tired, clumsy. Rose stared, horrified.

“He’s okay? He’s just at home just like that? Are you okay? What did you do?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. I’m fine. Just a little woozy. You’re the one who should really sit down.” She ignored his last comment. They held eye contact for a moment, which the Doctor broke. He flashed her a cheeky grin.

“I saw a glimpse of your house… It’s nice. Well, in an orange sort of way.”

Rose smiled her Rose Tyler smile, with her tongue touching her teeth. Something in his belly lurched, and it had nothing to do with his recent telepathic episode. 

“Why thank you.” She smiled. “And I like what you’ve done with the place yourself. Very… Retro.”

He grinned, then sighed and looked down.

"I didn't ask, Doctor... Are you on your own?”

"No. I travel with a couple of friends now, but they're at home for a while being married and doing married people things.” He paused, but forced his voice to power through.

“Rose, I’m really sorry. He’s back home, in your house, but… he couldn’t get back to the TARDIS in time. It’s stuck on that planet. I’m sorry.”

A lump caught in Rose’s throat. The TARDIS. Their home. The house in London was just so they had a place to stay, mostly to keep her family happy in the illusion that they lived on Earth, but their real home had been the TARDIS. She nodded.

“At least he’s okay.”

“He said the same thing about you.”

“Doctor…”

Rose suddenly realised where she was. She was out of her parallel world, where her Doctor was. This information suddenly hit with the force of a lorry to her lungs. Her voice came out in a whisper as she fought back tears and looked him in the eye.

“Can I get back to him?”

The Doctor rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair as he paced the TARDIS. It looked odd on him, like a gesture that this body was out of the habit of doing.

“We’ll find a way. We will.”

She swallowed.

“So it’s not a quick scan-and-go then?” She forced a laugh as tears crept down her face.

“No, Rose. I’m sorry. You fell through a vortex between parallel worlds. I’m amazed you survived. It’ll take me a couple of days, but I promised him and Jackie I’ll take you home.”

“You spoke to my mum?”

“No. But I always promised her I’d keep you safe, didn’t I?”

Rose pressed her lips together to stop the tears. She looked up at him.

“Thank you.”

“It's the least I can do. Look, you should probably sit down. I meant what I said. You’ll start to feel sick any time soon- ah, there it is.”

Rose lurched sideways suddenly as her head swooned, she grabbed onto the control panel to steady herself when a wave of nausea knocked her down again. She felt gentle hands lift her up, and allowed the blackness to swallow her.


	2. Jammy Dodgers, Rose!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose wakes up in her old room, and is delighted by the choices of biscuits available on her bedside table.

Rose woke in her old room, surrounded by her old things. There were photographs of her mum, of Mickey, Sherean, all stuck up on a cork-board, her blue and pink jacket was draped over her chair, her bulging make-up bag sat on her chest of drawers, surrounded by trinkets she’d collected on their travels – and for a moment she smiled, in that bleary pocket of time before wakefulness kicks in, and her mind wandered back to the normality she once knew.

She settled down to sleep for a little longer, but her fingers came across a note resting on her pillow. She didn’t recognise the handwriting. The Doctor’s handwriting was a slanty scribble, hasty and narrow, so who could be leaving notes on her pillow?… Oh. Rose remembered everything like a punch to the stomach. She crammed her eyes tight shut and took a deep breath. It was all going to be okay. She’d repeated these words to herself so many times over the years. And just when she’d started to believe it, she was once again ripped from her life.

She lay there for a while, breathing slowly and focusing on the low hum of the TARDIS around her. It felt soothing. Eventually, she felt calm enough to read the note properly. It explained, in what she now knew to be The Doctor’s new handwriting, all loopy and swirly, that he was in the control room. “ _Fiddling_.” That figured.

She propped herself up on her elbow, and saw that he’d also left a tray of tea on her bedside table. Two sugars, milk on the side, and her old mug. It was patterned to look like a red London bus - a silly gift from him. He'd bought it from the Christmas market in London after she'd complained that she didn’t have her own mug on board the TARDIS. _“It’ll remind you of home”_. He’d said, all big ears and a grin as he handed it to her that Christmas evening. “ _I am home.”_ She’d replied…

Rose blinked back the memory. It was all flooding in so fast. The smell of her room, the sense memory of the duvet around her chin. It was too much. She sighed, then frowned slightly as she saw that beside her mug was a packet of jammy dodgers with a note affixed “ _Jammy Dodgers, Rose! Have you TRIED these?!”_ and some chocolate digestives, her favourites.

She smiled, then drank her tea in hasty gulps and crammed down a couple of biscuits. She was still wearing her clothes from the day before, she noticed with a pang. This Doctor didn't feel comfortable with undressing her. Her Doctor at home had done so countless times: when she'd been ill, when she'd drank too much on her 30th birthday, and of course the many occasions where she'd asked him to, and he'd happily complied, in-between kisses, slowly, sometimes with his teeth...

Once again, Rose dragged her mind back to the present. She needed to focus.

She braced herself to face her old wardrobe. She forced herself to find an outfit from her old clothes hanging up just as she'd left them that morning before she was sucked into the parallel world. She tried not to linger too long on the union jack shirt, the dungarees, the pink 50s dress... and chose jeans and a loose t-shirt. They'd have to do. She brushed her teeth, stealing glances at her reflection. Her face had changed. She remembered that 19 year old girl she used to be, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for her life to begin, and looked into the face of the woman she'd become. In her old clothes, in her old room, she could almost be that young girl again... But her eyes were looking as deep as The Doctor's these days.

Her reverie was disrupted by a loud crash from the control room, it sounded like two metal dustbin lids clanging together, followed by The Doctor shouting: “Oh you _naughty_ thing! Come on! What’s wrong?!” presumably at the TARDIS. Rose laughed to herself, then crammed the packet of jammy dodgers into her pocket and wandered to the control room.

She found him up some makeshift scaffolding, gutting a wall on one side. Wires, strange glowing buttons and flashing lights were spilling from the hole he’d made in the wall. He was wearing steampunk goggles and holding what looked like a soldering iron, only it emitted a greenish glow and hummed loudly.

She watched him for a while, he hadn't noticed her come in. She drank in his brown floppy hair and new suit. He seemed so familiar, yet so different. The way his body moved seemed so alien, she noticed dryly to herself. He seemed more fluid, if a bit uncoordinated. She was used to the quick, surefire movements of her Doctor back home. This man could be anyone. She sighed for the second time that morning. She'd never coped well with regeneration. But she knew one thing, that whatever form his body took, she would do anything for the soul inside it.

“Good morning!” She shouted to his turned back.

“Rose!” The Doctor turned and grinned at her, his eyes shining. “How’s your head?”

Rose instinctively brought her hand to the back of her head and rubbed it. It felt sore, and there was definitely a lump forming.

“S’fine. Yours?”

“We'll see about that, you look groggy, Rose Tyler. Pass us that wire, would you?”

Rose handed him a bright blue wire, and a jammy dodger.

He grinned, and popped it into his mouth.


	3. Just Out Of Reach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose realise they have been taken back to 2005, two weeks before they met. And the TARDIS doesn't seem to want them to leave...

The Doctor smiled happily to himself as he munched on his Jammy Dodger, and continued soldering two glowing blue wires together. Soon he was chatting away to Rose about how he’d like to go and meet the inventor of the Jammy Dodger, wouldn’t that be great? That they truly were a marvelous invention, very advanced for 21st century civilisation. He was very enthusiastic, Rose noticed, and she grinned to herself. Some things never change.

Rose made vague sounds of agreement whenever he paused for breath, but her focus was elsewhere. Under the pretense of reading the biscuit packet, she'd let her gaze linger on his soft lips as he spoke, marvelled at how brightly his eyes were shining. Was that a dimple? Her Doctor didn’t have dimples. How had she not noticed his bow tie last night? Wait, or was it that morning?

“How long have I been asleep, Doctor?”

The Doctor cut his sentence midway through to snap his head and look at her.

“Oh, that, umm, two days. Ish.”

“Two days! Blimey.”

“Yes! I knew you’d be okay, been taking your temperature and everything. It’s a simple case of vortex fatigue, you just needed to clear your head.”

“You can say that again.”

She was joking, but this seemed to affect him more deeply than she’d expected. He looked down, and suddenly he looked like an old man, lost and confused and alone. She wished he was still talking about biscuits, but felt the moment was gone. She needed to distract him.

“Where are we, Doctor?”

At the whiff of an important question, he perked up immediately.

“Ah! Yes, well, we are currently- ”

The Doctor leaped down from his scaffolding and ran to the door

“-in London, 2005. February 19th.”

He opened the door with a flourish. They were parked in the town centre, right in front of Henrik’s, Rose’s old workplace.

“Oh my god. I still work at the shop. I’m out there, right now…”

“You are, and it’s very important that we don’t get mixed up in anything.”

“Obviously.” She snapped. “What did you think I was going to do? Run up to myself and do the can-can? I’m not an idiot, Doctor.”

Rose’s breath was catching in her throat. She looked at him, standing next to her and holding the door open. He looked patient. Kind, but not patronising. Also slightly confused and wary. She reached past him and closed the door.

“Sorry. It’s just a bit much is all.” She mumbled. She leaned her back against the door and let out a shaky laugh. “Isn’t this mad?”

He nodded, smiling slightly.

“Are we stuck here?” Rose asked.

“Yes. She won't budge. Something is gluing us here, something huge, and I can’t see it.”

He began to pace around the control room, gestating with his hands as he spoke.

“For some reason, we need to be here. My guess is as good as yours at the moment. It might just be the link between you and… It might just be because you’re here, and she’s confused, so she’s gone back to when I met you to try and realign things. But she’s not daft. She must have a reason. I just need to figure out what.”

He clambered halfway up the scaffolding then suddenly stopped and ran back to her.

“Wait! Rose? Is this date special in any way?”

“Hm?”

“Think: February 19th 2005\. Did anything happen? Anything strange?”

“Can’t think of anything.”

“You sure?”

“Really. Only that it’s two weeks before I meet you, 'cause I met you on March 5th…”

Rose blushed slightly. She’d told her Doctor back home all about how she’d recorded their adventures. How she'd saved every date, every year. All her memories. Their memories. Letting slip this tiny intimate detail felt like a huge blunder, like she’d accidentally overstepped an unspoken boundary. 

All she could see when she looked at him was her Doctor. It was so hard to keep from touching his arm, stroking his hand, kissing his cheek, playing with his hair. She bit her lip.

“Yeah, so. Nothing special.”

“Right.” He blinked and seemed a little flustered, but didn’t say anything. Just furrowed his brow, nodded, and resumed pacing.

“Well. Worth a try. We’ll keep an eye out. Obviously, we know the Autons and the Nestene Consciousness are lurking, but I don't think this is about that… I remember gathering the data myself, past me has it all under control…”

He looked confused for a moment, as if reaching for a memory just out of reach, then shook it off and climbed up the scaffolding.

“Of course, I’m getting all sorts of readings about the Nestene, off the scale stuff. If I didn’t know that I was already doing something about it, I’d go and do something about it. Because really, Rose, we mustn’t. do. Anything. About it.”

“I. Know. You. Said. That. Already.Speak for yourself, you’re the one who loves an adventure.” She said firmly, but she was laughing slightly and climbed up the scaffolding with him.

“So what do we do?”

They were standing quite close together. She’d overestimated the size of the platform.

“Sorry, this looked bigger from the outside.” She grinned, and was delighted when he laughed, and watched him happily as he chortled to himself. She had to fight off the urge to kiss him, the way their eyes were dancing between them. He must have clocked her expression because he looked away, took a deep breath and seemed to reset himself, before turning to her with his face newly composed- back to business. But Rose noticed his eyes were still dancing though.

“What we do, Rose Tyler, is make a cup of tea. Then we check the TARDIS for faults, keep an eye on the Earth readings, then we figure out a way to get us off the ground, and then, to top it all off, we’ll assail the dimensions between worlds and get you home, safe and sound in your universe. Should be easy.”

“Right. And I suppose that’s me making the tea is it?” She asked, pretending to be huffy.

He looked genuinely surprised.

“Of course not. I’ve got pretty good at it while you’ve been asleep. Got a real taste for it, too. Had to make you a fair few cups over the course of two days.”

“Why? Tea isn’t much use to an unconscious person.”

“Yes, but for when you _woke up_ , Rose.” He explained, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. “You like to have a cup of tea as soon as you wake up.”

“Wait, Doctor. Are you saying you made me cups of tea around the clock, just in case I woke up?”

He looked sheepish, as if he was just realising that maybe that wasn’t the most normal thing in the world.

“Well, yes. And that’s a lot of tea I had to drink, don’t know how you lot cope with it.”

A lump formed in her throat. She wanted to kiss him so much, tell him how much she loved him. How lovely she found him. Their bodies were so close, all it would take would be to lean forward a little… But he’d looked down, was pretending to look at wires. She looked away, too, and climbed down the scaffolding, turning back to him with a small smile.

“Thank you.” She walked towards the kitchen to make the tea when suddenly she felt his hands on her waist pulling her towards him. Her heart skipped a beat, but he let go very quickly – he was just pulling her out of his way as he dashed past her.

“I meant it, Rose Tyler. You are still my patient and I will make the tea.” He turned and winked at her before he vanished into the kitchen, and she felt her stomach squeeze in delight.

Why did this already feel so much like home?


	4. Unspoken Borders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and the Eleventh incarnation of The Doctor are getting on famously. Until he mentions that he's getting married.

The days flew by, and The Doctor and Rose continued to work on the TARDIS. They checked the readings on Earth, gathered data on the Nestene consciousness, and tried to understand why on Earth they were on Earth. Rose had more of an understanding of the TARDIS now that she and her Doctor had their own, so she’d tinker away alongside this funny man in a bow tie she knew to be The Doctor. Sometimes they’d chat, sometimes they’d just work in companiable silence like a well-oiled machine. They kept things ordinary, playfully polite, a little bit flirty, friendly. But one day, Rose’s guard was down after he’d been particularly flirty with her, and she felt words bubbling out of her mouth before she could catch them.

“You know, there’s something strange about you and me. It’s kind of sad.”

The Doctor’s palms suddenly felt clammy. She wanted to have _this_ conversation? He didn’t reply. She registered his carefully passive expression, but since she’d got this far, she decided to see where these sudden words took her.

“Cause we’ve kissed a couple times, but we’ve never kissed properly. Isn’t that mad?” She ventured a little smile, which he returned, stiffly, keeping his gaze mostly straight ahead at the underwires of the TARDIS.

“I mean, there was that time when you kissed me after I unfroze you from stone in Rome, but I got the feeling you would have kissed anyone!”

He coughed a little, but still didn’t reply. How could he tell her that he kissed her because she was the most beautiful soul he’d ever encountered? That he had saved her life countless times, and in countless ways? That he felt safe with her? Wanted to build a life with her, love her, all of it? How could he tell her that all he could manage was that kiss, because he was so overcome with all these thoughts at once, that words weren’t enough? He noticed her looking at him, waiting for a reply. He let a small laugh escape his lips.

“Ha, quite possibly, although I’m very glad it was you.” He grinned, boyishly, hoping that would be enough. That harmless flirting might get him off the hook. Because if she carried on like this, he would have no choice but to tell her everything, and where would that leave them? He should have known that Rose Tyler would not be distracted by his charms. He could see the cogs whirring as she considered what he’d said, and ploughed ahead with-

“And then there was that time with Cassandra, which was my body but not really me, so that doesn’t count either.”

He swallowed.

“And then there was the beach. And all the time I’ve been with my Doctor… Which I know is you, in a way. But I’ll never kiss him, the man I fell in love with. That face. Sounds selfish, doesn’t it?”

She looked down at her hands, fiddling with her sleeves as she spoke.

“It’s just that me and him, well, me and you, never got that moment. And now your face has changed so even if I kissed you now it wouldn’t be-”

“Rose.” He stopped and turned to face her. “I’m getting married.”

Her face fell.

“Oh.”

The air seemed to and hang awkwardly around them, like it was afraid of getting in the way.

“When?”

“I don’t know. But I know it happens.”

“Right… Well, I’m- I’m happy for you. That’s great. Congratulations.”

She smiled, a little too toothily, and nodded, a little too enthusiastically.

“Who is it…?”

“Her name is River. River Song.”

“Oh. That’s…”

But Rose never knew what she was going to say. She broke away from his gaze and, after a painfully long silence, they resumed their work. They both tried to regain the easy, carefree energy they’d had just moments ago, mainly by not looking at each other and pretending to be busy. Rose’s hands worked, but her energy was focussed on retaining control, on thinking logically, to remember the man she was desperately trying to get home to. That he needed her. That this man didn’t. She breathed, and soldered, soldered and breathed. Stayed calm. _Everything is going to be okay._

The Doctor worked too, wishing more than anything that he could tell her, well, everything. That he barely knew this woman he was going to marry one day. That he thought about her, Rose, every day. That all he wanted was to beg her to stay. Yet he knew, the moment that he’d said her name, told her about River, that he’d unwittingly forged another unspoken border between them. The silence became unbearable.

“I’ll get a wireless down, shall I?” He asked, taking a stab at sounding casual.

She beamed at him.

“Good idea!” She replied, in a tone she hoped was upbeat and cheerful.

He went to leave.

“And Doctor?”

He turned back to her.

“It’s okay. Really. I want you to be happy, and, well. Yeah. Please don't worry about me. I... I want you to live your life.”

He smiled, as much as he could muster. _If only you knew, Rose…_


	5. Golden Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose understand why the TARDIS has trapped them in London on the day that Rose met the Doctor, but it means that Rose has to take a risk to save not only the civilians of Earth 15 years ago, but also the present day.

It had been a few days since The Doctor’s awkward reveal that he was getting married, and the tension in the TARDIS was high. They were both being very polite, saying please and thank you, not stepping on each other’s toes at all. It was unbearable.

They’d been working silently for a few hours - Rose at the control panel and The Doctor examining the wiring in the walls. Rose was rummaging through a box of oddities on the hunt for a sonic screw, when she’d noticed that Glenn Miller was playing through the old wireless radio that The Doctor had dug out. She glanced over at The Doctor, who was up the scaffolding again, nowhere near the wireless.

“Is that you, Doctor?” She called.

“No… That’s the TARDIS doing that.”

Rose recognised the song playing as the one that they’d danced to in 1940s London, all those years ago.

“Well, she’s got great taste.” Rose smiled up at him, getting to her feet and offering him her hand.

Considering their previous awkwardness, he was surprised at how automatically he moved towards her, how easily one hand found her hand and the other her waist, how simple it felt to draw her close to him. Her hand found his shoulder, and the other melted into his palm. Their cheeks touched lightly as they rocked from side to side in time with the music. Slow, lilting movements, effortlessly shifting their weight together.

“Still got the moves then?” She said quietly, contentedly into his shoulder.

“Hmmm. I was trying to resonate concrete, though…” He murmured into her ear, and then slowly kissed her shoulder before resting his forehead against hers.

Rose let out a little hum of amusement, mingled with comfort, delight and a fair sprinkle of some other feelings too. They danced for a little while, swaying back and forth. Occasionally the Doctor would twirl her under his arm, and they’d fall back together, smiling as if they did this every day. The song came to a finish… Far too soon. They stood in silence for a moment, looking at each other, neither one of them wanting to break the moment.

“It’s good to see you again, Rose.” The Doctor said, letting go of her hands.

He absent-mindedly rubbed his forehead with one hand as he wandered back towards the scaffolding. She watched him go.

"Doctor-"

But suddenly the TARDIS whooshed to life, began whirring and sparking, blaring like a fire alarm whose batteries were long dead but somehow still rattling on from beyond the grave.

“That does _not_ sound good!” Shouted The Doctor over the noise, as he dashed to the monitor.

Rose ran to his side.

“Oh no, no no, this is not good, this is _very_ not good. The Autons are in Henriks, and you are in that store-room, and I am nowhere to be seen! The TARDIS isn’t even on Earth! What the hell is going ON-”

Suddenly a look of shock came over The Doctor’s face, and even more suddenly, he began slapping himself over the head.

“Doctor, stop that, what is going on? We need to do something, send a message to him- to you – somehow, tell him to find me, to rescue London!”

“Exactly, Rose! It all fits. It was right in front of me this whole time. OH! I had all the data back then, because we’ve been doing the research here! That’s how I knew where to go, where to find you. The TARDIS has been keeping us here for this exact moment!”

“What, like an alarm?”

“Exactly like an alarm! Wake up and save the Earth! Now that I think about it, I don’t remember researching anything about the Autons at all before I went to London fifteen years ago. The memory is foggy, I should have known it was an infostamp! But what’s important is nineteen-year-old you. You’re about to be killed by shop window dummies. If I don’t run in and save you this minute, you will die in there and all those times you saved the world will never happen. And… I’m killed by the Nestene because I won’t have you there to save me.”

“How do we tell him? We have no idea where he is.”

“That old time lord telepathy does have its uses sometimes.” Once again he dug out the contraption with the wires and the pulleys and the helmet from a huge box and began setting it up, just as he had when he communed with his human counterpart - the Telepather.

“That machine nearly knocked you out last time, won’t it freak out if you try and talk to yourself?”

“I… We don’t have time to think like that, Rose. Don’t you see? You’re in danger out there.”

“And you’re in danger in here. Doctor, tell me honestly, is it safe for you to wear that helmet? Can you promise me that you will survive?”

“I… No Rose. I can’t promise you that. Time Lords sometimes meet themselves, yes. Rarely, but it happens. It’s not enormously safe. But we don’t usually remember because we create paradoxes, so the memories are erased because they technically didn’t happen… It’s all very timey wimey, but no, no we’re not supposed to use telepathy with ourselves. That’s a very different game…”

“You haven’t answered my question. Can you promise you will survive this? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that it’s safer for you to do this, than, say - me?”

Her hard stare cut right through the lie he was about to tell. His hands dropped to his sides.

“I… No.”

Rose strode towards him with her hand outstretched, silently demanding that he pass the helmet to her. He shook his head and held the helmet tightly.

“It’s out of the question. I won’t have you risk your safety over this.”

Rose’s cheeks flushed and her jaw clenched, but her outstretched hand did not shake.

“And I won’t let you do this.”

She stepped closer.

“I mean it.”

She was fire, fury, burning, golden. He burned right back, stared right back into her eyes in defiance.

“Doctor, I know you would die for anyone in a heartbeat, but you don't need to. Not this time. You've got me. I _know_ it won't be pleasant. But I won't be at risk of death like you will. Right?” He nodded, reluctantly. “So let me do this! If you can’t bear the sight of me in pain, then you shouldn’t have ever left me on that beach-”

The air froze around them. Rose gasped at what she'd said, but after a moment she raised her eyes to him firmly.

“I can’t lose you again.”

He paused, his face was stony, showing no emotion at all. Which Rose knew to mean that he was furious. But still he sonicked the wires and pullies until she was securely strapped in, never making eye contact. Finally he looked her square in the face, and she recognised anger burning in his features. She knew how hard it was for him to stand aside and let others feel pain instead of him. He’d carry the pain of the world if he could. He probably did.

“It will hurt, Rose.”

“I know.”

“I won’t be able to stop it.”

“Just tell me what to do.”

He looked on the verge of swearing, but instead he grabbed an infostamp from under the TARDIS, and scanned it with his screwdriver, transferring all their research from the Nestene into it. 

“I will pour everything we've learned about the Nestene into your brain with this infostamp, and it will HURT. The TARDIS will find my old self and beam his location through you. I need to you concentrate, Rose. It will hurt, and I need to you concentrate.”

“I will.” He kissed her forehead. They looked at each other. He swallowed, his breathing erratic as if he was trying to summon words from within his body.

“Thank you... Oh, Rose Tyler. I-”

The TARDIS whirred to life once more, whooshing and sparking and shaking the ground beneath their feet. The Doctor ran to the control panel and shouted

“She’s locating him - we have to do this now! Are you ready?”

“Just do it!”

The Doctor beamed the infostamp into Rose brain, and he could swear, _swear,_ that a glimmer of gold shone through her closed eyelids. Without warning, the Telepather clanged to life and began vibrating through her whole body. Rose’s face contorted in pain, her body writhed, her face grimaced in a silent, suppressed scream as the Tremors shook her. Her hands reached out blindly and found his wrists. She clung to him, squeezed her lips shut, and suddenly her eyes burst open, shining with rays of golden light. She was the Bad Wolf.

Her voice took on a strange ethereal lightness, her body seemed to be free of pain and she stood calmly, looking past The Doctor into a world he could not see. 

“He’s so alone, so angry…”

“Tell him, Rose…”

“He knows… He knows it all, it’s done… And he’s forgotten how he knows… He’s running, always running. Through time and space. Searching for something. Knows it will end the emptiness, the timelessness… He's seem her, a girl, scared... He takes her hand, warm... alive. Run. Run. Run. She trusts him. She's safe. He is safe... I will keep you safe, my doctor. ”

Her voice dropped on her final two words, and the golden light dimmed. The Telepather cooled to a stop, and as she blinked, Rose’s eyes fluttered back to their former brown. The helmet sprang free from her head.

She saw The Doctor. He saw her. She threw herself into his arms and he held her tightly.

“Oh, Rose Tyler you are incredible, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Doctor! I’m fine.”

She laughed and hugged him, but pulled away quickly.

They ran to the monitor and watched as The Doctor’s ninth incarnation landed his TARDIS in the centre of London ns ran full-pelt towards the side door of Henlick’s department store. Neither of them breathed until they saw him and Rose coming out through that very same door moments later, him dashing away, her bemusedly running towards home. Moments later, they watched the shop explode, and The Doctor shut himself in his TARDIS and disappeared.

The Doctor turned to Rose, grinning.

“History as it should be.”

They high-fived, completely messed it up, and laughed. On the second attempt they got it right.

“Well, that’s one thing off the tick list then! Plenty more to do, Rose Tyler!"

He pulled a lever and turned a dial on the TARDIS.

"She'll fly now, we've done as she wanted! Now just to find our way to that parallel Earth of yours. But first, I think it’s time for some food and rest, nothing like finding the perfect snack to sort you out when you’ve had an ordeal-"

He inhaled sharply, as if struck by divine inspiration.

“Rose?”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever had fish fingers and custard?”


	6. Time machines are for saying things you wish you could have said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose have figured out how to get Rose home, which is good news... Right?   
> They're not too sure.

“You can go home!”

The Doctor and Rose hugged each other, grinning, delighted. 

“All we have to do is calibrate this Tardis with yours, even though it's lost in the vortex it's still registering as safe and sound! So you’ll be able to teleport into it and fly it home to your lovely orange house and human me!”

They broke apart. Their eyes met, both realising what it meant for them if Rose left. The Doctor recovered faster and was revived back to buoyancy, but not before Rose had seen his face falter. 

“Of course, now that this Tardis is working, you could... Well, you could always stick around for one last trip?” 

Rose’s eyes lit up.

“Where did you have in mind?”

“How about… Barcelona? I never did take you.”

“As long as you don’t die on me again.” She smiled as she said it, she’d meant it as a joke, but her face lost some of its energy as she realised what she’d said. She sighed.

“I need to get back, Doctor.”

Barely missing a beat, The Doctor moved to the control panel with a gusto enthusiasm that surprised them both.

“Home, sweet home! Nothing like a log fire and fish and chips, eh?”

“Yeah… Listen Doctor, it’s not that I don’t want to-”

“Oh no, of course. You’ve got things to do, human things. Very important human things! Rose Tyler things.” 

The Doctor shouted over the whirr of gears as he started up the engine of the TARDIS. He ran about pulling levers and hitting buttons.

“I’ve just sent him a text.”

“Hm?”

“Your Doctor, I sent him a text. Telling him the plan, he’ll be expecting you any time soon.”

“The Tardis can text?”

“Of course? Texting revolutionized the world!”

“Not as sophisticated as, I don't know, telepathy?” 

She smiled and followed him as he dashed about the TARDIS. 

“Telepathy hurts! Me and my Tardis are as sophisticated as it gets. I have a bow tie, now. See.”

He straightened his bow tie and flashed a faux-stern face at her. She smiled, but with her arms wrapped around her chest, and chewing her thumbnail. 

“It’s really goodbye this time, isn’t it?”

He stopped dashing about to stand and face her.

“Seems that way. It’s been a pleasure, though. Rose Tyler. Look at you. You’re…” 

He looked at his shoes, gathering himself. “You’re everything I knew you’d be. And more. I’m honoured that the universe threw us together again.”

She ran forwards and squeezed him tightly in a hug. He couldn’t help but squeeze her back, lifting her off the floor like he used to. 

“I’ve missed you, Doctor."

When he put her down his eyes were threatening tears, so he kept her close and rested his forehead on her shoulder until he’d got himself under control. Rose hugged her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest. He smelled different, but with an echo of her Doctor too. The sound of his two heartbeats thudding in her ears felt like home. 

When they drew apart, The Doctor saw his shirt was damp with tears. A deeply hidden part of him wished he could cry too, but found he just couldn’t let himself.

Instead, he kissed her. He knew he shouldn’t. 

Because of River, the future, all of it. But Rose Tyler was back in the TARDIS and it was all he could do. She kissed him back with a tenderness that gripped him to the spot, had him threading his hand through her hair and pulling her into him as close as he could.

He knew one day he’d love River, but he loved Rose first. He loved her now. He remembered his last day with her. Rose Tyler and The Doctor in the TARDIS, just as it should be… And it was perfect.

Suddenly a laugh bubbled up over Rose's lips. The Doctor, furrowed his brow, bemused. 

“Well, if that’s how you feel!” He smiled.

“No, no, I’m just wondering, am I cheating on you? With you?”

He joined in the chuckle.

“No, yes… I don’t know.”

“We’re married.” 

“Oh. Right.” He glanced down at the ring on her left finger, how had he not seen it before? Or maybe he just didn’t want to see it. Finally, the lump in his throat was too big to swallow. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. 

“I keep being told that I’m married. But I’m not. Not yet, anyway.”

“I think it’s more complicated for you. No surprises there.”

He laughed, but quickly this turned into a frustrated groan and he turned back to the control panel again, pressing buttons, pulling levers and running his hands through his hair. Like the old him used to do when he was thinking. She’d always suspected the TARDIS had several buttons that didn’t do anything, just for his own amusement. Or to avoid talking. 

Rose stood stunned for a moment, so surprised that he had actually kissed her, after years with him barely coming near her bedroom and pointedly averting his eyes if she was still in her nightie. She remembered him blushing when she once dashed through the control room in nothing but a towel. She grinned at memory, and how they used to tiptoe around each other’s feelings.

Now she slowly, deliberately stepped towards The Doctor. He was facing away from her but sensed her coming and stood still, leaning against the Tardis, breathing slowly. She stopped, a few feet from him, suddenly feeling shy now she’d come this close. Still, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him from behind. 

He turned around and held her tightly, closing the last of the space between them. He slid his hands onto her waist. Their faces were inches apart.

“I’ve missed you too, Rose... I suppose this is what time machines are for…” He murmured. “To go back and say things you’ve always wanted to say. Or forwards…” 

He gently rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, his breath shallow. Rose’s breath was struggling to remain even, her heartbeat climbed and her hands shook lightly. 

“Rose Tyler… I-”

Rose closed the space between their lips.

River had kissed him like this and he’d just been confused. He knew that one day he would love her, that he needs to let Rose go, but how could he even think of anyone else when nobody compared with what Rose did to him… Is still doing to him. It felt incredible. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand finding her back and the other wound its way through her hair.

“How long do we have?” She whispered against his lips.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

She searched his eyes with her own.

“Leaving you is too difficult. I’m still so angry at you. I’ve thought about what I’d say to you if I ever saw you again. How you left me without saying goodbye. But even after all that, leaving you now... I love you.”

He nodded, and took a step back, holding both her hands softly.

“Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m a coward for not saying goodbye. Rose, I am so sorry. You deserved better.”

She paused for a moment, with her eyes closed, taking in his words. After a moment she opened her eyes and smiled.

“Thank you."

The Doctor wiped the tears from her cheeks, kissed her forehead.

"This time I will do better. I'm here. It's going to be okay."

They stood together in an embrace, just enjoying being together, on pause before they would have to part.

"I'll stay tonight."

"Whatever you need."

They held each other once again, time ticking by without their noticing.

"Goodnight, Doctor."

Rose turned to go, then stopped and looked up at The Doctor playfully.

"Actually, I was wondering..."

One look at her face and he knew he'd give her whatever she was about to ask for.

"Would you like to stay with me tonight?” She kissed him, and his whole body responded. His fingers wandered and lingered over her body as they gradually moved together, entwined in one another. The Doctor broke away and looked into her eyes. Their lips hovered together, tingling.

"I'd love to." 

And Rose led the Doctor across the control room towards her bedroom.


End file.
